A ritual now

Late, and writing anyway.

Delayed by three days because I could not face it, and then felt so bad about the delay that I nearly delayed again out of shame. Said this in circle. Four people said they had done exactly the same.

The two hours before are worse than the ten seconds. Every week. Knowing that has not once made the two hours shorter.

Sat on the bathroom floor for forty minutes. Then did it. Both of those things are true and I am recording both.

Cheers.