Journal
Stellan’s journal
Reads Swedish guidance, argues with it.
Just Wednesdays
week 80settled energy 43 replies
Recording this for the record. Two years. My only news is that there is no news, and I have come back specifically to say so, because nobody wrote this part down for me.…
Into town and back
week 75quietly delighted energy 31 reply
Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care.…
Nine minutes
week 73brisk energy 5
Notes for the week. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. A locum who had clearly…
No news
week 71steady energy 43 replies
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. I nearly did not write this week because…
I nearly did not write
week 70fine energy 13 replies
Notes for the week. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Steady.…
Where the pen lives
week 67organised energy 42 replies
Recording this for the record. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months.…
Two sessions
week 66tired but good energy 52 replies
Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week…
Sunday night, four lines
week 64held energy 14 replies
She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday…
Six labelled boxes
week 62organised energy 32 replies
Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a…
A locum
week 60brisk energy 52 replies
Recording this for the record. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Nine minutes. I took…
My mother cooks
week 57awkward energy 21 reply
A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's.…
A1c down
week 55pleased energy 53 replies
Recording this for the record. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which surprised us both. Iron and B12 both low. Treated. The…
Three years side by side
week 54pleased energy 41 reply
A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which surprised us both. Improved. Iron and B12 both low. Treated. The difference in a fortnight was…
Sunday lunch
week 53loved energy 51 reply
Recording this for the record. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Sunday…
Circle tonight
week 51warm energy 24 replies
Recording this for the record. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle…
The question I had been avoiding
week 49frustrated energy 1
Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. She reduced one of my other medications. I…
Steady
week 47flat energy 23 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the…
Stayed for the company
week 45warm energy 1
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the…
Anchored to the shifts
week 43organised energy 12 replies
Notes for the week. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. Tested three cool bags…
Back without making it up
week 41tired but good energy 12 replies
Notes for the week. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is…