Journal
Calla’s journal
Down here it is all telehealth and patience.
Two lengths, badly
week 87grateful energy 11 reply
A quiet week. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Walked into town and back,…
A different shape
week 85rested energy 34 replies
Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet…
Grip
week 82tired but good energy 42 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Two sessions…
Reduced
week 80content energy 32 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Reduced to a maintenance dose. Same day, same fridge, less of it. Steady. Two years. My only news is that there is no news, and I have come back…
She stopped the room
week 80warm energy 34 replies
A quiet week. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Circle…
Paired
week 77held energy 54 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a…
Six labelled boxes
week 75organised energy 4
Late, and writing anyway. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Small logistics win: worked out where…
She noticed first
week 73held energy 14 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 70held energy 2
Late, and writing anyway. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me…
My mother cooks
week 68loved energy 31 reply
A quiet week. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can,…
Walking
week 65tired but good energy 12 replies
A quiet week. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly…
Steady
week 63steady energy 51 reply
Short one tonight. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory…
Somebody new
week 61warm energy 44 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. The facilitator…
Sunday night, four lines
week 58held energy 54 replies
A quiet week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most…
Off the floor
week 57pleased energy 33 replies
Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Walked the Southern Walkway. Slept flat.…
Paired
week 55held energy 54 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a…
Two lengths, badly
week 53pleased energy 31 reply
Short one tonight. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not…
Stayed for the company
week 51warm energy 54 replies
Short one tonight. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in…
What is your secret
week 48warm energy 41 reply
A quiet week. Sunday lunch at my grandmother's. Small plate, long afternoon, no drama, and she was happy. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can,…
An unremarkable week
week 45fine energy 11 reply
A quiet week. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Steady.…