Journal
Ray’s journal
I complain and then I do it anyway.
Just Wednesdays
week 111settled energy 31 reply
Right. Nothing happened again. I am aware that is now the fourth month running I have written that, and I have decided it is the best sentence in this journal. Steady, still…
Two years, read back
week 89full energy 13 replies
Right. Two years today. I have read this journal back from the start this evening and the person in March 2024 was so frightened, and nobody told her it would just gradually…
Quiet
week 81fine energy 23 replies
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. I nearly did not write…
Paired
week 79held energy 34 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the…
Slept through
week 78rested energy 14 replies
Right. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it.…
Awake at four
week 76foggy energy 34 replies
Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it. Waking at…
Starters as a main
week 74awkward energy 21 reply
A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Starters as a main course,…
I nearly did not write
week 72fine energy 33 replies
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild…
Flat, whole night
week 70grateful energy 11 reply
Right. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Walked into town and back, which I…
Dreams
week 68rested energy 44 replies
Well then. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it.…
Two flights of stairs
week 67quietly delighted energy 21 reply
Right. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Walked to the top of Wentworth without stopping. Sat on the floor and played…
Before nine
week 66steady energy 13 replies
I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the…
She stopped the room
week 64warm energy 14 replies
Well then. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. The facilitator stopped the room…
Three cool bags and a thermometer
week 62organised energy 22 replies
Well then. Tested three cool bags against a thermometer this weekend because I am that person. Results written up for the travel circle. Anchored injection day to my shift…
The question I had been avoiding
week 60heard energy 2
Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was…
The limits of yoghurt
week 58steady energy 23 replies
Right. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have reached the limits of both. Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only…
A wedding
week 56awkward energy 11 reply
Right. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Starters as a main course,…
Nothing to report
week 54steady energy 43 replies
Well then. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made…
Nine minutes
week 51brisk energy 22 replies
Well then. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Nine minutes. I took three written…
Sunday night, four lines
week 49held energy 2
Well then. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. My buddy noticed something in my journal…