Journal
Gwenda’s journal
Sixty-two, type 2, feet much better.
No mask
week 23rested energy 2
Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning…
Stayed for the company
week 22warm energy 34 replies
This week: The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Circle tonight.…
Circle tonight
week 21warm energy 54 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. The facilitator stopped the room when four…
Nothing to report
week 20steady energy 31 reply
This week: I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Quiet. Injection…
Nine minutes
week 20heard energy 22 replies
This week: Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Took the diary in. She read it…
Flat, whole night
week 19pleased energy 51 reply
Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Swam. First time since school. Two lengths, badly, grinning. Ta.
The limits of yoghurt
week 18steady energy 43 replies
I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Was undereating without…
Awake at four
week 17rested energy 1
This week: Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the…
She stopped the room
week 16warm energy 24 replies
This week: Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the…
A different shape
week 15tired energy 24 replies
Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning…
Two lines a day
week 15organised energy 1
Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. New sharps bin, and a plan for…
Back without making it up
week 14tired but good energy 32 replies
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Walked…
Unpleasant, not dangerous
week 13sore energy 43 replies
The burping. Nobody mentions the burping. It is not in any leaflet and it is genuinely one of the odder experiences of my adult life. A rough month. The nausea has a shape to…
I nearly did not write
week 13steady energy 53 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of…
Dreams
week 12foggy energy 24 replies
This week: Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the…
Quiet
week 11fine energy 11 reply
This week: Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. I nearly did…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 10tired but good energy 22 replies
This week: Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing…
Nothing to report
week 9flat energy 41 reply
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild…
Where the pen lives
week 8organised energy 42 replies
This week: New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens to it when I move in September. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with…
I nearly did not write
week 7fine energy 21 reply
This week: Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made…