Journal
Lark’s journal
Early riser. The 6am check-in is mine.
Steady
week 22steady energy 21 reply
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. I nearly did not write this week because…
Somebody new
week 21warm energy 4
A gentle week, mostly. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly…
The list on the fridge
week 20steady energy 43 replies
Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain…
Grip
week 20tired but good energy 12 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time.…
Dreams
week 19tired energy 44 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved.…
Sunday night, four lines
week 18held energy 14 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has…
Two sessions
week 17tired but good energy 4
A gentle week, mostly. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for…
What is your secret
week 16loved energy 41 reply
A gentle week, mostly. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. Somebody asked…
Back without making it up
week 15tired but good energy 52 replies
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Eight…
Stayed for the company
week 14warm energy 1
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 13held energy 24 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a…
The bad fortnight
week 12rough energy 22 replies
A rough few days. Not dangerous, just relentlessly unpleasant, the kind of unwell where you cannot read and cannot sleep and cannot settle to anything. Nausea at four in the…
Starters as a main
week 12warm energy 21 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word.…
Circle tonight
week 11warm energy 54 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight,…
Off the floor
week 11quietly delighted energy 11 reply
Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware…
I nearly did not write
week 9steady energy 11 reply
A gentle week, mostly. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Steady.…
She reduced it
week 9brisk energy 52 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Took the…
No news
week 8flat energy 33 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Steady. That is the whole entry. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false…
Quiet
week 7flat energy 41 reply
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. An unremarkable week.…
An unremarkable week
week 6steady energy 23 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild…