Journal
Maryam’s journal
Injection Sunday. Reflux Monday. Fine by Wednesday.
Two years, no news
week 115settled energy 3
Two years. My only news is that there is no news, and I have come back specifically to say so, because nobody wrote this part down for me. Steady, injects Sunday mornings out…
Unremarkable
week 93relieved energy 42 replies
Recording this for the record. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which surprised us both. Two years of stable bloods. Iron and B12…
Nothing
week 78frayed energy 5
The plateau has been going on longer than the part before the plateau. That is an odd thing to sit with. A long flat autumn during Ramadan planning, handled calmly. I wanted…
Paired
week 63held energy 42 replies
Notes for the week. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Paired with hannah_begins. She…
A locum
week 47heard energy 21 reply
Notes for the week. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Asked her own GP the questions she…
What was underneath
week 36unsettled energy 52 replies
Went past the shop I always go into and simply did not go in. Not resisted. Did not occur to me. I stood outside for a moment afterwards trying to work out what had happened.…
She noticed first
week 35held energy 54 replies
Recording this for the record. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four…
Quiet
week 34fine energy 51 reply
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. An unremarkable week.…
Slept through
week 33tired energy 54 replies
Recording this for the record. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and…
A printout I cannot read
week 32frustrated energy 52 replies
She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I…
Steady
week 32steady energy 23 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal…
Before nine
week 31steady energy 23 replies
Recording this for the record. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own…
What is your secret
week 30awkward energy 11 reply
Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly,…
A plain question
week 29steady energy 33 replies
Notes for the week. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Spread it across the day instead of…
A wedding
week 28warm energy 31 reply
Recording this for the record. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. My mother cooks. That is how she says…
Into town and back
week 27pleased energy 31 reply
Recording this for the record. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that…
Circle tonight
week 26warm energy 2
Recording this for the record. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Went for the practical answers…
Quiet
week 25steady energy 33 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 24held energy 24 replies
Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up.…
Dreams
week 23tired energy 4
Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in…