Journal
Tobias’s journal
Precise about doses, vague about feelings. Working on it.
Off the floor
week 43grateful energy 21 reply
Recording this for the record. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then…
An unremarkable week
week 40fine energy 13 replies
Notes for the week. Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is…
Laces
week 37quietly delighted energy 51 reply
Notes for the week. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Walked into town and…
Later than I should have
week 36better energy 21 reply
Flat rather than sad. I could not find words for it for a fortnight, which meant I did not raise it for a fortnight. A very brief entry admitting he had been struggling,…
She reduced it
week 35brisk energy 12 replies
Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Left with a printout I could not read and no…
Quiet
week 32flat energy 53 replies
Recording this for the record. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been…
No news
week 29steady energy 31 reply
No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the whole entry. An…
A plain question
week 27steady energy 43 replies
Recording this for the record. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own…
I nearly did not write
week 24flat energy 43 replies
Notes for the week. Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is…
My mother cooks
week 22warm energy 41 reply
Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind…
Propped up on pillows
week 20rough energy 32 replies
Recording this for the record. Sore at the injection site for about ten days, a small firm lump under the skin. The pharmacist looked at it, was unbothered, and told me to…
What is your secret
week 19warm energy 41 reply
Recording this for the record. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people…
A locum
week 17heard energy 52 replies
Notes for the week. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Took the diary in. She read it…
Two lengths, badly
week 14grateful energy 21 reply
Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Carried…
Steady
week 11fine energy 51 reply
Notes for the week. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and…
Nothing to report
week 8flat energy 23 replies
Notes for the week. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the…
An unremarkable week
week 6flat energy 31 reply
Recording this for the record. Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The…
Starters as a main
week 3warm energy 51 reply
Notes for the week. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed,…
I have started
week 2nervous energy 11 reply
Recording this for the record. I told one person. Not my mother, not work. One person, and only because she asked me a direct question at the right moment. A first entry…