Journal
Tobias’s journal
Precise about doses, vague about feelings. Working on it.
Quiet
week 91steady energy 23 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my…
No news
week 88steady energy 13 replies
Recording this for the record. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady.…
Somebody new
week 85warm energy 34 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and…
Just Wednesdays
week 83content energy 34 replies
Notes for the week. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady, and the entries have got slightly…
Into town and back
week 83grateful energy 51 reply
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Swam. First time since school. Two lengths, badly, grinning. Tied my own laces…
I nearly did not write
week 80fine energy 53 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has…
Across the day
week 77steady energy 53 replies
Notes for the week. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer.…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 75held energy 54 replies
Notes for the week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question…
She noticed first
week 72held energy 3
Recording this for the record. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me…
A printout I cannot read
week 69frustrated energy 52 replies
Recording this for the record. A locum who had clearly read nothing. I was polite, I got what I needed, and I have booked with my own GP for next month. Asked the question I…
Circle tonight
week 66warm energy 3
Notes for the week. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly…
Sunday lunch
week 64awkward energy 41 reply
Recording this for the record. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people…
A wedding
week 61awkward energy 31 reply
Notes for the week. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed,…
No mask
week 59foggy energy 12 replies
Notes for the week. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Apnoea improved. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there…
Steady
week 59steady energy 53 replies
An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my…
The limits of yoghurt
week 56steady energy 53 replies
Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a…
Two sessions
week 53tired but good energy 12 replies
Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly right. Walked…
Paired
week 51held energy 44 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next…
Two lines a day
week 48organised energy 22 replies
Recording this for the record. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Batch cooked on…
Nothing to report
week 46flat energy 13 replies
Notes for the week. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the…