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Grief and eating

A diagnosis in the family and everything else stopping

Started 29 September 2025 · 18 replies · 165 hearts · read 1.6k times

BronwenBarry, UK · 29 September 2025
10 months ago

A diagnosis in the family and everything else stopping — putting it in its own thread so it does not get lost in the check-in.

This is a difficult one to write and I have deleted it twice.

What I would find most useful is not advice. It is somebody describing what their version of this was, and how long it went on for.

My prescriber has been fine, genuinely. The problem is that I get nine minutes twice a year and there is no version of nine minutes that covers this.

Sorry for the length. If anyone has been here, I would very much like to hear it.

55

NoraDublin, IE
#1

Please do not read the comments under news articles about this. I lost a fortnight to that.

10

MaudGhent, BE
#2

I asked my nurse the same question and she said something I have repeated ever since: that the aim is to keep you on treatment, not to get you up the schedule.

6

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#3

Gently: you have apologised three times in a post where you have done nothing that requires an apology.

17

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#4

Reading the reply above, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What helped was lowering my own expectations of the week rather than trying to hold the week together.

5

OsgarKillarney, IE
#5

Coming back to this a fortnight later to say it settled. Leaving the update because I hate reading threads that stop.

7me too 7

NerysRhyl, UK
#6

What the reply above described happened to me too, in a slightly different order.

I am the person who had the frightening version of this. I went in, it was investigated, and it was not what anyone feared. Going in is the whole of my advice.

13

BibiRabat, MA
#7

I did exactly the same and felt terrible about it. You have not done anything wrong.

8

BronwenBarry, UK
#8

Practical, boring answer: write the three questions down before you go in. I have never once remembered them otherwise.

9

NoraDublin, IE
#9

Have you got anyone who can be with you when you do it? It made an enormous difference to me and I felt silly asking.

7

MaudGhent, BE
#10

The thing that changed it for me was going slower, agreed with my prescriber. I am not suggesting you do that. I am saying the conversation exists.

8me too 8

TiborBratislava, SK
#11

My pharmacist was more use than anyone. Ten minutes at the counter, no appointment, no charge.

9me too 6

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#12

Can I gently push back on one thing? Not the substance, just the framing — you have written twice that you should be coping better. Who told you that?

6

OsgarKillarney, IE
#13

Yes to the burping. It is real, it is unbeautiful, and it does settle.

10

NerysRhyl, UK
#14

the reply above — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

I am about four months behind you and I have been dreading exactly this, so thank you for writing it down before I got there.

9

BibiRabat, MA
#15

Building on what the reply above wrote rather than answering the original question.

The phrase that unlocked my appointment was asking what specifically she wanted me to watch for. It moved us from reassurance to a plan in about thirty seconds.

8

BronwenBarry, UK
#16

Different experience here, for balance. Mine did not improve and in the end I stopped, and that was the right call for me. Both outcomes exist.

8me too 2

MaudGhent, BE
#18

No advice, just recognition. That sounds exhausting and I am sorry you are in it.

5