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Grief and eating

The kindness of somebody sitting with me while I ate toast

Started 29 November 2024 · 24 replies · 292 hearts · read 6k times

OsgarKillarney, IE · 29 November 2024
1.6 years ago

Starting a thread on this because it keeps coming up in ones and twos: The kindness of somebody sitting with me while I ate toast

I have been sitting on this for a month.

I have read the guides here, which were more useful than anything else I have found, and I still have a question they do not cover.

I am aware some of this may be nothing. I would still like to know whether other people have had it, because I have spent a fortnight assuming I am the only one.

What I keep tripping on is not the physical bit. It is the not knowing whether what I am experiencing is normal, and having nobody to ask who is not either selling something or frightened for me.

Anyway. Thank you for reading this far. Any experience gratefully received, and I promise to come back and say what happened.

97

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#1

My pharmacist was more use than anyone. Ten minutes at the counter, no appointment, no charge.

14me too 5

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#2

the opening post said something I want to sit with for a second.

Gently: you have apologised three times in a post where you have done nothing that requires an apology.

15

NoraDublin, IE
#3

I keep a two-line diary and it is the only reason I could answer this question about myself. Worth starting even now.

13

MaudGhent, BE
#4

No advice, just recognition. That sounds exhausting and I am sorry you are in it.

10

TiborBratislava, SK
#5

Building on what the reply above wrote rather than answering the original question.

The phrase that unlocked my appointment was asking what specifically she wanted me to watch for. It moved us from reassurance to a plan in about thirty seconds.

16

NerysRhyl, UK
#6

Different experience here, for balance. Mine did not improve and in the end I stopped, and that was the right call for me. Both outcomes exist.

8

BronwenBarry, UK
#7

I would take that to a clinician rather than to us, and I would do it this week. Not because it is definitely serious — because it is the sort of thing that is much easier to rule out than to worry about.

12

OsgarKillarney, IE
#8

the reply above said something I want to sit with for a second.

Two things that helped me, neither of them clever: small amounts more often, and drinking a lot more than felt necessary.

9me too 9

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#9

Building on what the reply above wrote rather than answering the original question.

Mine lasted about seven weeks and then lifted over a few days. I cannot tell you why. I can tell you it lifted.

14

BibiRabat, MA
#10

Yes. All of this. I had the same in my third month and I remember thinking there was something specifically wrong with me, which there was not.

12

NoraDublin, IE
#11

I did exactly the same and felt terrible about it. You have not done anything wrong.

14

MaudGhent, BE
#12

Practical, boring answer: write the three questions down before you go in. I have never once remembered them otherwise.

16

TiborBratislava, SK
#13

Gently disagreeing with the reply above, or rather adding the other half of it.

Have you got anyone who can be with you when you do it? It made an enormous difference to me and I felt silly asking.

13me too 4

NerysRhyl, UK
#14

The thing that changed it for me was going slower, agreed with my prescriber. I am not suggesting you do that. I am saying the conversation exists.

12

BronwenBarry, UK
#15

the reply above — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

My experience was very boring, which I offer as data. Some of us just get a dull time of it.

14

OsgarKillarney, IE
#16

What helped was lowering my own expectations of the week rather than trying to hold the week together.

7

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#17

Coming back to this a fortnight later to say it settled. Leaving the update because I hate reading threads that stop.

10me too 9

BibiRabat, MA
#18

What the reply above described happened to me too, in a slightly different order.

I am the person who had the frightening version of this. I went in, it was investigated, and it was not what anyone feared. Going in is the whole of my advice.

7

NoraDublin, IE
#19

the reply above — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

Can I gently push back on one thing? Not the substance, just the framing — you have written twice that you should be coping better. Who told you that?

9

MaudGhent, BE
#20

I am about four months behind you and I have been dreading exactly this, so thank you for writing it down before I got there.

11

TiborBratislava, SK
#21

Reading the reply above, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

I asked my nurse the same question and she said something I have repeated ever since: that the aim is to keep you on treatment, not to get you up the schedule.

12

NerysRhyl, UK
#22

Please do not read the comments under news articles about this. I lost a fortnight to that.

12

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#23

Noticing out loud that this conversation has drifted into comparison. That happens without anyone intending it and it does not help anyone. Let us come back to the person who asked.

17

OsgarKillarney, IE
#24

Similar here, and mine turned out to be a completely unrelated deficiency picked up on bloods.

15