Confession thread, gently. I have been the person in this circle telling everyone that standing still is fine, and then in December I went up a step for reasons that had nothing to do with my body.
What actually happened: my brother started three months after me, went up on schedule, and by Christmas was describing changes I had not had. Nobody said anything unkind. He was just cheerful about it at a table full of relatives and I sat there feeling like the slow child.
So in January I asked to go up. My prescriber said we could and asked whether anything had changed for me. I said no, not really. She said fine, then, and wrote it, and I went home with a decision I had made out of a feeling at a dinner table.
The fortnight after was bad. Not dangerous — I want to be clear, no red flags, nothing that needed anybody — but flattening, and I lost two weeks of work and one weekend away that I had been looking forward to since October. I have gone back down. I am fine. I am also embarrassed, which is why I have taken three weeks to write this.
The reason I am writing it: I read a lot of posts in here about people being pushed up by clinicians. I have not read one about somebody pushing themselves up out of comparison. I suspect I am not the only one.
90