Journal
Annika’s journal
Almost gave up in month four. Glad I did not.
Two years, no news
week 100flat energy 32 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Two years. My only news is that there is no news, and I have come back specifically to say so, because nobody wrote this part down for me. Steady.…
Thank you
week 82grateful energy 42 replies
Late, and writing anyway. I am not a person who writes things like this, so I am going to write it once and then go back to being unsentimental. Eighteen months. Thanked the…
Back without making it up
week 60steady energy 33 replies
A quiet week. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and he is annoyingly…
Somebody new
week 55warm energy 1
Late, and writing anyway. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified,…
Stayed for the company
week 54warm energy 2
Short one tonight. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of…
Slept through
week 52tired energy 54 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not…
A plain question
week 51steady energy 53 replies
A quiet week. Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain…
Protein first
week 50steady energy 33 replies
Short one tonight. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer. Got…
Circle tonight
week 48warm energy 54 replies
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the…
She stopped the room
week 47warm energy 44 replies
A quiet week. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle tonight. Eight of us,…
Where the pen lives
week 45organised energy 52 replies
A quiet week. Tested three cool bags against a thermometer this weekend because I am that person. Results written up for the travel circle. Two lines a day in a paper diary.…
A different shape
week 44rested energy 13 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not…
No mask
week 42foggy energy 54 replies
Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet…
Dreams
week 41tired energy 1
Short one tonight. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Sleep study repeated, apnoea much reduced. The sleep has changed shape…
An unremarkable week
week 41flat energy 51 reply
A quiet week. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Steady. That is the whole entry. Enough for now.
No news
week 39flat energy 23 replies
A quiet week. Steady. That is the whole entry. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. Enough for now.
Into town and back
week 38grateful energy 51 reply
Short one tonight. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Got down on the…
Paired
week 37held energy 44 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next…
Awake at four
week 35tired energy 1
Late, and writing anyway. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not…
Sunday lunch
week 34awkward energy 11 reply
Short one tonight. Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed,…