Journal
Esme’s journal
Long lunches, small plates, no drama.
Nothing happened again
week 100settled energy 43 replies
Evening. Two years. My only news is that there is no news, and I have come back specifically to say so, because nobody wrote this part down for me. Steady. Wednesdays are…
A1c down
week 78relieved energy 32 replies
Iron and B12 both low. Treated. The difference in a fortnight was not subtle. A1c down. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which…
Somebody new
week 64warm energy 44 replies
Evening. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…
Awake at four
week 63foggy energy 24 replies
Evening. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 61held energy 2
Evening. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the…
She stopped the room
week 60warm energy 54 replies
The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Went for the practical…
Walking
week 58tired but good energy 12 replies
Evening. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Eight minutes and a chair. That…
She read the diary
week 57heard energy 12 replies
Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Left with a printout I could not read and no…
Two flights of stairs
week 55pleased energy 51 reply
Evening. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the…
Laces
week 53grateful energy 32 replies
Evening. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping…
An hour on the floor
week 53pleased energy 54 replies
Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody saw. It counted. Walked up Sainte-Victoire. Walked into…
Dreams
week 52foggy energy 14 replies
Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in…
No mask
week 50foggy energy 54 replies
Evening. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 49tired but good energy 5
Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven weeks. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the…
Two lines a day
week 47organised energy 42 replies
Evening. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Anchored injection day to my shift…
Across the day
week 46steady energy 23 replies
Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own answer. Protein first, everything…
A printout I cannot read
week 44frustrated energy 12 replies
Evening. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Nine minutes. I took three written questions…
Circle tonight
week 43warm energy 14 replies
Evening. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…
A different shape
week 41rested energy 4
Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in…
A new bin and a plan
week 39organised energy 32 replies
Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Batch cooked on a good day for…