Journal
Freya’s journal
New to all of it. Asking the obvious questions.
Reduced
week 81flat energy 22 replies
Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. Steady, still asking questions. Reduced to a maintenance dose. Same day, same fridge, less of it. Two years. My only news is that there is…
Come back in a year
week 59pleased energy 21 reply
A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother, which surprised us both. Cholesterol improved, cycle regular. Bloods back. Unremarkable, she said,…
Both bags, one go
week 41pleased energy 41 reply
Quickly, before bed. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Hiked Esja twice in a week. Got down on the floor and back…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 34held energy 44 replies
Quickly, before bed. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question…
Sunday night, four lines
week 34held energy 54 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me…
Paired
week 33held energy 34 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next…
No mask
week 32rested energy 44 replies
Quickly, before bed. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to…
Protein first
week 31steady energy 33 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Was undereating without…
Sunday lunch
week 30warm energy 51 reply
Starters as a main course, permanently. No explanation offered, none requested. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind…
An unremarkable week
week 29flat energy 13 replies
Quickly, before bed. Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is…
Steady
week 28steady energy 31 reply
Quickly, before bed. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and…
Anchored to the shifts
week 27organised energy 12 replies
Quickly, before bed. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and…
No news
week 27steady energy 33 replies
Quickly, before bed. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Steady. That is the…
An unremarkable week
week 26flat energy 43 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. No news. The dog is well, the weather has…
She stopped the room
week 25warm energy 14 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Circle…
Circle tonight
week 24warm energy 34 replies
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the…
The quiet
week 23quiet energy 33 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Went past the shop I always go into and simply did not go in. Not resisted. Did not occur to me. I stood outside for a moment afterwards trying…
Past the shop
week 22quiet energy 51 reply
Quickly, before bed. Something has gone quiet and it took me weeks to be able to name it. There was a running commentary in my head about food — what was in the house, what I…
What was underneath
week 22thoughtful energy 12 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. The quiet is not the same as peace. It has left a space, and the space has other things in it that I had been keeping the noise on top of. Wrote…
She reduced it
week 22brisk energy 22 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea…