Journal
Kai’s journal
Trying to speak to myself the way I speak to friends.
Sunday night, four lines
week 45held energy 54 replies
A gentle week, mostly. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. Nobody has ever asked me…
Two lengths, badly
week 42quietly delighted energy 21 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Got down on the…
She stopped the room
week 41warm energy 3
Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual…
An unremarkable week
week 39flat energy 23 replies
A gentle week, mostly. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Quiet. Injection…
Somebody new
week 37warm energy 14 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land.…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 37tired but good energy 12 replies
Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Two sessions this week, both short, both…
Grip
week 34tired but good energy 42 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in…
A new bin and a plan
week 32organised energy 22 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Two lines a day in a paper diary. Date, and one thing. That is the entire system and it has twice changed a clinical decision. Batch…
A printout I cannot read
week 30brisk energy 12 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Took the diary…
I told her
week 28low energy 52 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Therapy alongside this has been the useful part. The medication changed the volume; the therapy is doing the work. Told my prescriber…
The volume and the work
week 26better energy 54 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Therapy alongside this has been the useful part. The medication changed the volume; the therapy is doing the work. Told my prescriber…
Flat, not sad
week 25better energy 51 reply
Therapy alongside this has been the useful part. The medication changed the volume; the therapy is doing the work. Told his prescriber about the mood change rather than…
Fewer, heavier
week 24tired but good energy 2
A gentle week, mostly. Grip strength has gone off and I noticed it opening a jar before I noticed it anywhere else. Back to loading properly. Came back after a bad fortnight…
Dreams
week 22foggy energy 44 replies
Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it. Repeat study…
Steady
week 20steady energy 53 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it…
No news
week 19flat energy 11 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Nothing to report. Writing it down…
An unremarkable week
week 17flat energy 21 reply
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Steady. That is the…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 15held energy 14 replies
Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable…
A different shape
week 13tired energy 54 replies
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find…
Sore and slow
week 12flat energy 11 reply
Sitting down to this properly tonight. Bad week and I am writing it down anyway, because a journal that only contains the good weeks would be a lie and no use to anybody…