Journal
Kez’s journal
Shift work, two jobs, one very tired woman.
Nothing happened again
week 94settled energy 44 replies
Reduced to a maintenance dose. Same day, same fridge, less of it. Steady, one job, more sleep. Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. The strange part is not having a project…
What it displaced
week 73pinched energy 12 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Did the arithmetic out loud, on the page, no rounding. It is a lot. Seeing it written down was steadying rather than frightening, which I had…
Laces
week 53pleased energy 32 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Walked to work instead of the bus for a month. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I…
She stopped the room
week 38warm energy 52 replies
Quickly, before bed. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour.…
Nothing to report
week 38fine energy 43 replies
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. No news. The dog is well, the…
A printout I cannot read
week 37frustrated energy 52 replies
She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about…
An hour on the floor
week 36quietly delighted energy 31 reply
Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the landing. I stood at the top for a second like an idiot. Nobody…
Quiet
week 35fine energy 53 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Quiet.…
I nearly did not write
week 34steady energy 51 reply
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it…
The question I had been avoiding
week 33frustrated energy 22 replies
Quickly, before bed. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. She reduced one of my…
Where the pen lives
week 32organised energy 22 replies
Quickly, before bed. Small logistics win: worked out where the pen actually lives in a fridge shared with four other people and a toddler's yoghurts. Anchored injection day…
Nothing to report
week 31fine energy 33 replies
Quickly, before bed. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory…
Quiet
week 30steady energy 33 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole…
Sunday night, four lines
week 29held energy 1
Quickly, before bed. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights,…
Stayed for the company
week 28warm energy 24 replies
Circle tonight. Eight of us, an hour, and about eleven minutes of actual information. The rest was the point. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at…
A different shape
week 28rested energy 52 replies
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten…
Dreams
week 27rested energy 31 reply
Quickly, before bed. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of…
Slept through
week 26foggy energy 24 replies
Quickly, before bed. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of…
No mask
week 25foggy energy 44 replies
Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is much reduced. Ten years of that mask. Slept…
Awake at four
week 24foggy energy 51 reply
Ten minutes then I am asleep. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there listening to the boiler. Could not separate the medication from the two jobs. Repeat…