Journal
Ossian’s journal
Dark winters do not help. The circle does.
Reduced
week 76flat energy 43 replies
A quiet week. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady. Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. Reduced…
She reduced it
week 58heard energy 52 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Left with a printout I could not read and no idea what to be worried about. Taking it to bloodwork-buddies on Thursday. Took the diary in. She read…
My mother cooks
week 56loved energy 41 reply
Late, and writing anyway. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved.…
Circle tonight
week 55warm energy 34 replies
Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. Went for the practical answers and stayed…
Slept through
week 53rested energy 54 replies
A quiet week. Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came back and the…
A different shape
week 52foggy energy 24 replies
Slept through. Whole night, no waking. It has been so long that I lay there in the morning trying to work out what was different. Repeat study came back and the apnoea is…
Nine minutes
week 50brisk energy 42 replies
A quiet week. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her…
Sore and slow
week 49sore energy 44 replies
Late, and writing anyway. The nausea has a shape to it now. Thursday teatime it starts, Friday it peaks, Saturday afternoon it lifts. Once I could see the pattern it stopped…
Not writing about this would be dishonest
week 48sore energy 24 replies
Bad week and I am writing it down anyway, because a journal that only contains the good weeks would be a lie and no use to anybody reading it later. Second polar winter,…
An unremarkable week
week 47fine energy 43 replies
Short one tonight. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Nothing to report.…
She noticed first
week 46held energy 24 replies
Late, and writing anyway. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or…
I nearly did not write
week 45flat energy 33 replies
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. No news. The dog is…
Three cool bags and a thermometer
week 43organised energy 42 replies
A quiet week. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Tested three cool bags against a thermometer this…
A plain question
week 42steady energy 13 replies
A quiet week. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. I have found five things I can get down when…
Off the floor
week 41quietly delighted energy 11 reply
Short one tonight. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I started, and I have now done it. Full shift on my feet and my knees…
A locum
week 39heard energy 12 replies
Late, and writing anyway. She reduced one of my other medications. I asked her twice whether that was really allowed. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got…
An unremarkable week
week 37fine energy 51 reply
Short one tonight. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Nothing to report.…
Back without making it up
week 36tired but good energy 22 replies
Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Eight minutes and a chair. That is the…
Somebody new
week 35warm energy 3
Late, and writing anyway. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour.…
How are you doing on a Wednesday
week 33held energy 14 replies
Late, and writing anyway. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle…