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Journal

Rafe’s journal

French food culture and a reduced appetite. Discuss.

46 entries from 11 Nov 2024 to 17 Apr 2026 · Bordeaux, FR

  • Stayed for the company

    Tuesday 15 Apr 2025week 24warm energy 44 replies

    A brief account of the week. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour.…

  • Three cool bags and a thermometer

    Tuesday 8 Apr 2025week 23organised energy 42 replies

    Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the…

  • Dreams

    Wednesday 2 Apr 2025week 22rested energy 54 replies

    A brief account of the week. Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything…

  • An unremarkable week

    Friday 28 Mar 2025week 21fine energy 53 replies

    Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. Steady. That is the…

  • Laces

    Saturday 22 Mar 2025week 20grateful energy 21 reply

    A brief account of the week. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice…

  • Across the day

    Saturday 15 Mar 2025week 19steady energy 23 replies

    A brief account of the week. Got something with protein in before nine this morning, which meant the rest of the day did not fall apart at four. Spread it across the day…

  • A different shape

    Monday 10 Mar 2025week 19foggy energy 24 replies

    Vivid dreams, every night, the sort you have to sit up and shake off. Two other people in circle have the same and none of us can find anything written about it. Repeat study…

  • The list on the fridge

    Sunday 2 Mar 2025week 17steady energy 13 replies

    Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I…

  • Steady

    Friday 21 Feb 2025week 16steady energy 51 reply

    A brief account of the week. Steady. That is the whole entry. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out…

  • Fewer, heavier

    Saturday 15 Feb 2025week 15tired but good energy 32 replies

    A brief account of the week. Came back after a bad fortnight without trying to make up the lost ground, which is the thing that used to end it for me every time. Two sessions…

  • Across the day

    Sunday 9 Feb 2025week 14steady energy 43 replies

    A brief account of the week. Was undereating without realising. The nurse asked a plain question about what I had actually eaten in the last two days and I heard my own…

  • Starters as a main

    Monday 3 Feb 2025week 14loved energy 31 reply

    A brief account of the week. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. A…

  • Both bags, one go

    Tuesday 28 Jan 2025week 13pleased energy 41 reply

    Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Sat on the floor and played for an hour, and then got up. That was the entire reason I…

  • How are you doing on a Wednesday

    Thursday 23 Jan 2025week 12held energy 24 replies

    Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Paired up.…

  • Off the floor

    Wednesday 15 Jan 2025week 11pleased energy 31 reply

    A brief account of the week. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Got down on the floor…

  • An honest evening

    Thursday 9 Jan 2025week 10clear energy 34 replies

    A brief account of the week. The pub is still the pub. I had worried about that more than anything. Looked honestly at my drinking for the first time in about fifteen years.…

  • Two landed like five

    Tuesday 7 Jan 2025week 10clear energy 12 replies

    Two drinks landed like five. I stopped after one and have done ever since, not from virtue, just from arithmetic. Wine stopped appealing and it changed his work life. The pub…

  • An hour on the floor

    Thursday 2 Jan 2025week 9grateful energy 21 reply

    Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care.…

  • Somebody new

    Thursday 26 Dec 2024week 8warm energy 14 replies

    Somebody new tonight, terrified, exactly where I was in the spring. I said the thing that had been said to me and watched it land. The facilitator stopped the room when four…

  • My mother cooks

    Saturday 21 Dec 2024week 7warm energy 51 reply

    My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. A wedding. Three courses I could…