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Journal

Sam’s journal

Titrating at half the usual pace and finally not miserable.

46 entries from 17 Apr 2024 to 7 Mar 2026 · Portland, OR

  • The question I had been avoiding

    Thursday 12 Dec 2024week 36brisk energy 4

    Notes for the week. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven…

  • Eight minutes and a chair

    Sunday 1 Dec 2024week 34tired but good energy 32 replies

    Notes for the week. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two…

  • Fewer, heavier

    Friday 22 Nov 2024week 33tired but good energy 42 replies

    Recording this for the record. Two sessions this week, both short, both done. Ren keeps saying that two a week for two years beats a perfect programme abandoned in March, and…

  • Nothing to report

    Tuesday 12 Nov 2024week 32fine energy 31 reply

    Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about…

  • An unremarkable week

    Sunday 3 Nov 2024week 30fine energy 23 replies

    I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. Nothing to report. Writing it…

  • She noticed first

    Wednesday 23 Oct 2024week 29held energy 44 replies

    Notes for the week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Nobody has ever asked me how I was…

  • Slept through

    Friday 11 Oct 2024week 27tired energy 51 reply

    Notes for the week. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. CPAP pressure reduced at his review. He…

  • Quiet

    Wednesday 2 Oct 2024week 26steady energy 11 reply

    Notes for the week. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing.…

  • No news

    Thursday 19 Sep 2024week 24flat energy 33 replies

    Notes for the week. Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it.…

  • A plain question

    Friday 6 Sep 2024week 22steady energy 13 replies

    Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. I have found five things I can get down when nothing…

  • Unpleasant, not dangerous

    Saturday 24 Aug 2024week 20flat energy 32 replies

    Recording this for the record. The nausea has a shape to it now. Thursday teatime it starts, Friday it peaks, Saturday afternoon it lifts. Once I could see the pattern it…

  • What is your secret

    Wednesday 14 Aug 2024week 19awkward energy 31 reply

    Notes for the week. Somebody asked what my secret was and I froze completely. Still working out what I want to say to that. Starters as a main course, permanently. No…

  • Propped up on pillows

    Saturday 10 Aug 2024week 18flat energy 51 reply

    The nausea has a shape to it now. Thursday teatime it starts, Friday it peaks, Saturday afternoon it lifts. Once I could see the pattern it stopped feeling like something…

  • An hour on the floor

    Saturday 3 Aug 2024week 17quietly delighted energy 41 reply

    Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about…

  • Walking

    Sunday 21 Jul 2024week 15tired but good energy 12 replies

    Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven weeks. Grip strength has gone off and I noticed it opening a jar before…

  • No hurry

    Monday 8 Jul 2024week 14steady energy 23 replies

    Third day after the change is always the worst and I have finally stopped being surprised by it. Knowing it is coming does not make it pleasant, but it does make it…

  • The third day

    Friday 28 Jun 2024week 12steady energy 1

    Asked about going slower and was braced for a fight I did not get. She said plenty of people do better on a longer step and wrote it down. I had spent a week rehearsing an…

  • Back down a step

    Saturday 22 Jun 2024week 11braced energy 12 replies

    I have been at the same step for five months and every clinician I meet seems mildly surprised. It is working. I am not moving. Three weeks per step instead of four,…

  • She stopped the room

    Wednesday 19 Jun 2024week 11warm energy 34 replies

    Notes for the week. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were…

  • I nearly did not write

    Sunday 9 Jun 2024week 9steady energy 51 reply

    Recording this for the record. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks.…