Journal
Cass’s journal
Ex-army. Structure helps me.
What is your secret
week 47warm energy 51 reply
Recording this for the record. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. My…
She noticed first
week 45held energy 44 replies
Recording this for the record. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other…
A new bin and a plan
week 43organised energy 52 replies
New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens to it when I move in September. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of…
Laces
week 40grateful energy 11 reply
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Carried both bags up in one go. Small thing. Wrote it down. 0600 tomorrow.
I nearly did not write
week 38fine energy 33 replies
Quiet. Injection Tuesday, mild Wednesday, fine by Thursday, and then a normal weekend. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it…
She reduced it
week 36heard energy 42 replies
Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers,…
Eight minutes and a chair
week 34steady energy 33 replies
Recording this for the record. Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven weeks. Kept the two sessions that matter…
Walking
week 33tired but good energy 54 replies
Kept the two sessions that matter and dropped the two that were vanity. Fewer, heavier, done. Back to twice-weekly strength work. Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a…
No mask
week 33rested energy 24 replies
The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there…
Quiet
week 30steady energy 23 replies
Recording this for the record. An unremarkable week. Ate, walked, worked, slept adequately. This is what most of it looks like. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on…
The limits of yoghurt
week 29steady energy 13 replies
Recording this for the record. Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. Got something with…
Nothing to report
week 27flat energy 13 replies
Notes for the week. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing.…
Two flights of stairs
week 25pleased energy 41 reply
Recording this for the record. Tied my own laces standing up. I am aware of how that sounds and I do not care. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has…
Six labelled boxes
week 23organised energy 12 replies
Notes for the week. Batch cooked on a good day for the bad days. Six labelled boxes in the freezer and a great deal of smugness. New sharps bin, and a plan for what happens…
The question I had been avoiding
week 21frustrated energy 5
Notes for the week. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Asked the question I had…
Awake at four
week 19rested energy 44 replies
Notes for the week. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just…
My mother cooks
week 17loved energy 11 reply
Notes for the week. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. My mother cooks.…
Off the floor
week 15pleased energy 21 reply
Notes for the week. Slept flat. Whole night. Flat. Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. 0600 tomorrow.
Sunday night, four lines
week 13held energy 44 replies
My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a…
Sore and slow
week 13flat energy 31 reply
The burping. Nobody mentions the burping. It is not in any leaflet and it is genuinely one of the odder experiences of my adult life. Documented as a fault report. Very…