Journal
Cass’s journal
Ex-army. Structure helps me.
No project
week 88content energy 2
Recording this for the record. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Steady. Nothing happened again. I…
She noticed first
week 82held energy 4
Notes for the week. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on a Wednesday before. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round.…
Fewer, heavier
week 80tired but good energy 22 replies
Walked instead of the bus all week. Not a programme. Just walking. Eight minutes and a chair. That is the whole programme. Tuesday and Friday. I have done it for eleven…
I nearly did not write
week 78flat energy 53 replies
Steady. That is the whole entry. I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring…
Sunday night, four lines
week 76held energy 2
Recording this for the record. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I did and asked me a very gentle question about it. Nobody has ever asked me how I was doing on…
The question I had been avoiding
week 74frustrated energy 52 replies
Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers,…
Quiet
week 73flat energy 11 reply
I nearly did not write this week because there was nothing in it. Then I thought about how much I have got out of other people's boring weeks. No news. The dog is well, the…
Nothing to report
week 71fine energy 31 reply
Recording this for the record. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Quiet.…
She noticed first
week 69held energy 54 replies
Paired up. We text on Sunday nights, four or five lines each, and it has quietly become the most reliable thing in my week. My buddy noticed something in my journal before I…
A plain question
week 67steady energy 23 replies
Spread it across the day instead of trying to do it all at teatime and everything got easier. Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the…
Unremarkable
week 65relieved energy 32 replies
Notes for the week. Bloods back. Unremarkable, she said, which is a word I had never once heard applied to me. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang…
A wedding
week 63awkward energy 21 reply
Recording this for the record. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. My…
Come back in a year
week 62relieved energy 54 replies
Bloods back. Unremarkable, she said, which is a word I had never once heard applied to me. Improved. A1c down. I looked at the number for a long time and then rang my mother,…
Sunday lunch
week 61warm energy 11 reply
Notes for the week. A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. My mother cooks.…
She reduced it
week 59brisk energy 32 replies
Notes for the week. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three answers, which is the best return I have ever had from an appointment. Asked the question I had…
The question I had been avoiding
week 57frustrated energy 52 replies
Recording this for the record. Asked the question I had been avoiding for eleven years. She answered it in about ninety seconds and was completely unbothered. Took the diary…
An hour on the floor
week 55quietly delighted energy 31 reply
Notes for the week. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Up the stairs at work twice without stopping at the…
Sunday night, four lines
week 53held energy 14 replies
Notes for the week. She had a bad week and I had a fine one, and next month it will be the other way round. That is the whole mechanism. Paired up. We text on Sunday nights,…
Starters as a main
week 51awkward energy 11 reply
A wedding. Three courses I could not face, a table of people who noticed, and a very kind waiter who boxed it up without saying a word. My mother cooks. That is how she says…
She stopped the room
week 49warm energy 34 replies
Notes for the week. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were…