Journal
Ash’s journal
A&E nights. Ask me nothing before 2pm.
Two years, no news
week 78content energy 4
Well then. Wednesdays are just Wednesdays now. Steady. The strange part is not having a project any more. I had not understood how much I was enjoying having one. Nothing…
A new bin and a plan
week 54organised energy 52 replies
Anchored injection day to my shift pattern rather than to the calendar, which solved a problem I had been feeling guilty about for four months. Tested three cool bags against…
Protein first
week 53steady energy 23 replies
Well then. I have found five things I can get down when nothing appeals and I have written them on the fridge. That list is the most useful thing I own. Protein first,…
An hour on the floor
week 52pleased energy 3
Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about four years. Walked a full night shift without her feet ruining her. Carried both bags up in…
A different shape
week 51rested energy 34 replies
Well then. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying…
What is your secret
week 50loved energy 11 reply
My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Somebody asked what my secret was…
The question I had been avoiding
week 48frustrated energy 32 replies
Well then. Took the diary in. She read it properly, which I had not expected, and changed the plan because of it. Nine minutes. I took three written questions and got three…
My mother cooks
week 47awkward energy 31 reply
Right. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Somebody asked what my…
The list on the fridge
week 46steady energy 13 replies
Protein first, everything else after. It is not interesting advice and it is the only advice that has changed anything. Greek yoghurt, eggs, and the limits of both. I have…
Dreams
week 45tired energy 34 replies
Right. The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying…
Nothing to report
week 43steady energy 31 reply
Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. No news. The dog is…
Circle tonight
week 42warm energy 4
Well then. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once and asked one person how she was actually doing. It changed the whole hour. Went for the…
Stayed for the company
week 40warm energy 44 replies
Right. Went for the practical answers and stayed for the company, which I gather is what everybody does. The facilitator stopped the room when four of us were talking at once…
I nearly did not write
week 39fine energy 31 reply
Right. No news. The dog is well, the weather has been foul, and I have taken my medication on the correct day for the eleventh week running. Nothing to report. Writing it…
A wedding
week 38loved energy 31 reply
Well then. My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Somebody asked what my…
Two lengths, badly
week 37quietly delighted energy 41 reply
Well then. Got down on the floor and back up again unaided. I have not been able to do that since 2021 and I did it twice more just to check. Sat on the floor and played for…
Sunday lunch
week 35awkward energy 41 reply
My mother cooks. That is how she says it. So I eat what I can, slowly, and I say thank you, and we manage. It is not a problem to be solved. Somebody asked what my secret was…
Quiet
week 34fine energy 43 replies
Right. Nothing to report. Writing it down anyway, on the theory that a journal made only of eventful weeks would give a false impression of the whole thing. No news. The dog…
Both bags, one go
week 33pleased energy 21 reply
Walked into town and back, which I stopped doing years ago without ever deciding to stop. Full shift on my feet and my knees did not stop me. That has not happened in about…
Slept through
week 31tired energy 14 replies
The sleep has changed shape rather than improved. Different, not better, and I cannot yet tell whether I mind. Waking at four again. Not anxious, just awake, lying there…